Perimenopause & Menopause Relief | Liv Arctic Essentials

From burnout to balance — navigating the mental load women carry every day

Are you done with “doing it all” all the time?
You’re not alone. Many women feel this way. Daily chores alone can drain your energy — emptying the dishwasher, picking up the kids, meeting work deadlines, remembering birthdays, managing weekly shopping lists, supporting aging parents as they downsize.

But the real strain often comes from something less visible.

It’s the constant, unseen thinking that keeps everything running smoothly. The planning. The remembering. The anticipating. The emotional support. The decisions no one sees — but everyone depends on.

The overwhelm isn’t in your head. It’s real.
And it has a name.

It’s called the Mental Load — a well-studied social dynamic that’s been recognized for decades.

“The mental load is the constant exercise of not forgetting important events and information, and the active work of caring for others throughout the day.” (Daminger, 2019)

The Mental Load has been around for a while

The “Mental load”, also known as “cognitive load”, “mental labor”, “emotional work”, “thought work”, or even “invisible work” [1] has been studied since the 1980s. But it really hit the spotlight during COVID, when the lines between work and home life basically disappeared.

And every woman experiences it differently.

Working mothers may struggle in different ways than stay-at-home mothers. Mothers of young children carry a different type of load than those parenting teenagers or supporting aging parents.

One study explains:

“The mental load is all the little things that allow the big things to actually get done – and even though the actual split of chores and tasks might be 50/50, it’s the women who are taking on the entire mental load themselves.” [2]

Mental Load vs. The Second Shift: What’s the Difference?

The mental load often goes hand in hand with what’s known as the Second Shift — a term coined by American sociologist Arlie Hochschild to describe the unpaid work women do after their paid workday ends.[3]

Think of the Second Shift as the "doing" (the actual cooking), while the Mental Load is the "thinking" (deciding what to cook, making the list, checking inventory) that makes the "doing" happen.

“The mental load has no shifts – it can be done before, during and after work or even during time that should be spent sleeping.” [4]

The Three Core Characteristic of Women’s Mental Load

It’s invisible, and leads to a lot of unpaid, physical labor.
It’s boundaryless. It crosses over into work, leisure, and sleep time.
It’s never-ending. It can never be completed because it’s linked to caring for loved ones, which is constant. [5]

Can’t both partners just share the load?

That would be ideal. But even though a recent study showed “Take a Load Off? Not for Mothers: Gender, Cognitive Labor, and the Limits of Time and Money” [6] that physical tasks around the house are currently being shared more equally, the mental load is still, unfortunately, mostly left to women.

“Mothers take on 71% of household mental load tasks”. [7]

When men are taking on mental tasks, it’s mainly in two areas: home maintenance and finances. These tasks are, however, not constant. They’re “episodic” and the difference is that they occur occasionally and not daily. Couples should talk and work together to find solutions.

Men take on more “episodic” mental load tasks, like finances and home maintenance. [8]

It’s also important to recognize that the mental load isn’t just a personal relationship issue — it’s a systemic one, reinforced by broader social structures like gender norms, workplace expectations, and parental leave policies.

Interestingly, couples who share similar values around gender equality experience fewer conflicts around mental load. [9]

Why the Mental Load Can’t Easily Be Outsourced

Not all tasks can be handed over easily. Daily, physical tasks like cooking and cleaning can easily be outsourced, but cognitive labor is harder to outsource or renegotiated because it’s fragmented, ongoing, and mostly invisible, taking place inside your own head. [10]

Why the Mental Load Sticks—Even for High-Achieving Women

A recent study from 2025 of U.S. parents found that mothers are still primarily responsible for the administrative ‘thinking work’ in households, even when they have more money and less available time. [11]

Employment and high earnings do reduce mothers’ physical chores, but they seem to have no effect on their level of mental load. Women are still “doing it all” even when they have more money and full-time work. [12]

“Even as women gain economic power, they remain responsible for anticipating and coordinating household needs — tasks that are largely invisible and difficult to delegate.”

Dr. Ana Catalano Weeks, Senior lecturer in comparative politics in Bath’s Department of Politics, Languages, & International Studies. [13]

The Mental Load and Menopause

Women in their 40s and 50s are not only dealing with the mental load of work responsibilities, kid’s school commitments, social activities, and aging parents … they have the added symptoms of perimenopause and menopause as well. Hormonal chaos, hot flashes, mood swings, low energy, lack of sleep and brain fog can all make staying on top of everything feel almost impossible. Supporting both physical and mental health during this stage isn’t optional. It’s essential.

How to Make the Mental Load Feel Lighter

Juggling family life, relationships, social plans, and work is always going to be tough. Add the ups and downs of menopause into the mix, and it gets even tougher. There are no quick-fix solutions or life hacks to make the mental load magically disappear. But there are ways to lighten it, feel more in control and bring more balance back into your everyday life.

Four Practical Ways to Manage the Mental Load

1. Talk about it

Talk to your partner about the mental load. They may not be aware of everything you do behind the scenes. Find a time and place where you’ll be undisturbed and gently explain how you feel and all you manage mentally. Together, you can find a way to share the load based on personal strengths and availability. [14]

2. Make the invisible visible

Create an organized system for household chores. Write it down. Use a shared list, calendar, or system.

“Having an organized system can be an effective way of explicitly naming the hidden work that women often take on. If it's written down or put into a spreadsheet, it's no longer invisible”.

Gayane Aramyan, LMFT [15]

3. Prioritize self-care without guilt

We know it can seem impossible some days but try to take a little time for yourself. It’s the best way to reduce stress and manage your mental load better. Try practicing yoga, meditating or doing a hobby you enjoy. Get enough sleep and try to move your body daily — even short bursts of exercise have physical and mental benefits. [16]

4. Embrace “Lagom”

“Lagom” is a uniquely Swedish concept that roughly translates as “just the right amount”. It embraces balance, moderation, and contentment in everyday life. And it can take the pressure off and bring some calm into your day. It’s part of the wider Nordic work-life balance philosophy: A way of living with better emotional regulation and less risk of burnout. (American Psychological Association, 2022) [17] It’s a reminder that life doesn’t need to be optimized to be fulfilling.

Discover more Nordic inspiration here.

Reclaim Your Energy, Strength, and Clarity

Awareness is powerful. Conversation is essential. Balance is possible.

Being aware of and talking about the Mental Load with your partner are great actions to take. Making your mental load visible is a powerful tool. And taking care of yourself with diet, exercise and balance are key. Adding powerful, natural supplements to your daily routine can also help keep you strong, resilient and focused.

At Liv Arctic Essentials, we believe in supporting women through every stage with science-backed, thoughtfully formulated supplements designed to work with your body, not against it.

Meno Essentials will help you take back control of hormonal chaos; Energy Essentials will give you a natural brain and body energy boost; Gut Essentials will keep you calm and regular; and Move Essentials will give you the strength to take on each day with power.

And you can lighten your load a little with an easy Liv Essentials subscription, giving you one less thing to have to remember.

So, no more running on empty.
It’s time to stop surviving and start thriving.

The ultimate guide to a healthy gut

Beat fatigue naturally

Reach your goals

Thrive through the change

Healthy joints for decades to come

The Nordic Way of Living

Unpacking the Invisible Mental Load

The ultimate guide to a healthy gut

Beat fatigue naturally

Reach your goals

Thrive through the change

Healthy joints for decades to come

The Nordic Way of Living

Unpacking the Invisible Mental Load

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The Invisible Mental Load You’re Carrying—And How to Lighten It

Key take aways

The mental load is real, invisible, and relentless

Even equality at home does not fix it

Menopause makes the mental load even harder to carry

Making the invisible visible is the most powerful first step

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From burnout to balance — navigating the mental load women carry every day

“The mental load is the constant exercise of not forgetting important events and information, and the active work of caring for others throughout the day.” (Daminger, 2019)